You gotta be !@#$% me!

Okay, this  installment is the first of many rants (I'm sure) about the stupid people (hearafter known as s.p.) who don't know they are...
I apologize in advance if you are offended.  Go hide in a closet.


Politics is on my mind lately.   SO...

It irritates the expletive out of me why the s.p. of the world think that:

1.    they couldn't possibly be s.p.
2.    politicians aren't s.p. too
3.    laws make sense

In my opinion, the Founding Fathers are most likely rolling in their graves, hauting the hallowed halls of Washington and Philadelphia, and kicking themselves because they can't kick the living - for what we've done to their concept of Democracy.

They built our country from the ground up so that people could be free from the tyranny of government.  We are supposed to select our own leaders that have US in mind when they make laws that keep us safe and free to go about our little peon lives (so long as we don't kill people or something in doing it) and without having to worry about tithing to some monarch (not a butterfly) and filling their personal pockets with our coin.

SO WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?????

Well, first of all envy happened.  Everyone wants to be better than the next guy.  Be more attractive.  Be smarter.  Be richer.  More powerful.  You name it.  And that started the ball rolling.

I will grant you that there are a FEW politicians in the US today that have their heart in the right place.  Ted Kennedy was one of them.  Maybe one of the last.

Then, lobbyists happened and capitalized on the envy.  (Thought Capitalism was good, didn't you, s.p.)  People with no moral or ethical bones in their stupid bodies (although they may or may not be s.p.) MAKE THEIR LIVING shafting you, dear reader.  They work for HUMOUNGOUS corporations and throw around more money that any of us would ever see in our entire lifetimes, just to get a bill before congress or buy a few votes, or confuse a stupid politician and have legislation pass that benefits their boss company.

Then, media happened and capitalized on our fear.  Fear is one of the most basic, lower-brain, animal functions.  You see something and figure out first if it is scary or not.  Fight or flight.  Even invertebrates have that much sense.  So the media get all techno and right up in our face in the living room and tells us all sorts of horrible things that will happen if this or that politician is elected.  Scary, huh?

And what's wrong with that????  
     Uhhhh, no one can predict the future except your mom who has a pretty good track record when it comes to not wearing your sweater in the freezing cold and chicken soup WILL make you feel better.

But, I digress.  No one can predict the future.  Especially the future with regard to the government.  WHY? 

It has gotten too freekin' complicated.  How many times have you voted (if you even bother to) for something after reading the referendum about 7 times and still don't understand if yes means yes--or it means no?  Scarier than the media, right?

You watch a candidate go along the campaign trail and think, "Here's a pretty good one."  And, if they're lucky enough to be elected, they get in office none of what they promised gets done.  So you think they lied to you, they're bad and can't be trusted. 
     Let's just use an analogy here to pick this apart.   Let's say you are a pharmacist.  You do good work, keep people well, help the sick -- do what a pharmacist does.  Now you don't OWN the pharmacy, you just work there.  The owner decides to change a few things.   All of a sudden, patrons are complaining.  The medicines and OTC items cost too much.  Some don't get better because the drugs are now below standard.  YOU haven't changed, the people around you, the good ol' boys have put their foot down.  They don't like your goodie-two-shoes attitude so they make you the fall guy.  Now nobody likes you.

In politics, the envious, big business and the media fall on you like a pack of dogs.  You're voted out before you can get your feet under you from fixing your predecessor's disaster, much less do anything you promised to do.

What are We, the People supposed to think?  ...Do?  How do we react responsibly?  

Well, I'm very sorry to say the the s.p. (folks with a room-temperature IQ), outnumber people with an IQ of the temp on your hot water heater setting by a fair multiple.  Even I, a jenius in my own left brain, does not have the answer.  But I would ask people to think.  Just be like Dora the Explorer and stop and think.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  See if you can tell if you are being lied to and by whom.  Are the doomsayers EVER right?  My idiot dog Merlin is more predictable... 

Have a think.  I'll get back with you.

Merlin.... is.... special

I seem to be writing about my dogs, mostly because I don't want to insult my relatives, I suppose.  Merlin is the "middle" dog.  When he was a puppy, we thought he had turret's syndrome because he used to, for absolutely no reason, at any random time, sleeping or awake, jerk and twitch.  (If we had known, we would have called him Jerk or Twitch, I suppose).  But, we thought, since he was a rescue and looked like a heeler/border collie mix he would be smart and clever - hense Merlin.
He turned out to be magically stupid.  A total retardo as Katie called him.
He was hit in the head more times by balls and treats than any other dog we've had.  STILL doesn't know how to catch anything.  Learned to sit, though.  That's is the total repertoire of his tricks.
Jerking and twitching throughout puppyhood, we soon realized he was even more special than that.  Should have been obvious with the one eye brown and the other eye blue....
One day he saw John in the back yard, kinda far out there.   Maybe 150 feet away or so, and went tearing toward him, grabbed his ankle and wouldn't let go.  Fearlessly stupid!  Took him about 20 seconds to realize it was John kicking him off his leg - so he ran back in the house totally confused as to why a stranger should have been his master.
He also humps air.  Just walkin' around, getting up from a nap, checking out the smells in the back yard.  Yep, air hump.  Hump it up here, hump it up there,  here a hump, there a hump, Merlin's doin' hump-de- hump.  Merlin is our special boy, hump de dump de oh.
Nobody knows why.  Nobody asks.  We just look askance and wait for him to quit. 
What's a master to do?
He also is completely freaked if he doesn't have something in his mouth.  He started this as a puppy.  Had to be holding something almost constantly.  Toy, sock, shoe, grass.... poop.  If you came home and walked in the door and his mouth was empty he would have to run outside and find something before he would greet you.  You prayed it wasn't a poop-sicle.
Now, he's older and getting a little more special.
He developed high triglycerides a few years back and was put on a low fat diet.  That really didn't help too much.  His left eye is pretty much covered over by a lipid (fat) deposit.  Guess it must look like a cataract from the inside out.  He's not blind in that eye, just can't see well from it.  So now his turret's is back, but he's mostly twitching to check things out with his good eye.  That, at least, I can understand.
He's also been Rocky's 'big' brother.  Taught him to eat poop.  Try stopping TWO dogs from doing it!  Saw him making doggie snow angels - before there was snow on the ground this morning - so I think Rocky may have learned that from him, too.  Taught Rock to eat snow - no matter what color it is.  And, I'm guessing it is especially good snow if it has little bunnie chips in it.  They really go for that kind of snow - a bit hard to find, I guess.
So how does this make a person feel who has been around animals all her life?  I was a zookeeper at the Fort Worth Zoo.  I've handled enormous animals weighing over 1,000 lbs.  I've been an animal nurse.  I've cared for mammals, amphibians, reptiles, fish, birds... trained dogs and horses.... and Merlin the magician has me stumped.  He can't be trained to do anything except sit.  He behaves because he's loyal as the day is long.  He's NEVER far from the pack leader (me) and has big emotional problems when I have to be away from the house for any period of time.
How does it make me feel?  Humbled.  Merlin, dumb-as-a-rock Merlin who can only see out of one eye and will walk straight in the pond and look back at you while you're yelling at him with "What?" on his face is humbling.  I can't train him.  I can't undo the physical problems he has.  I yell at him all the time for his completely thoughtless behavior.
And still, he loves me.  He protects me and would probably take on a grizzly bear to save me.  Yeah, he's just that dumb.  And me, I love him too.  So that's my Valentine story about the dumbest dog I'll ever own.

Sir Barks Alot

My three dogs are all over 65 lbs.  The oldest is 9, the middle is 7 and the youngest is 1 and still considered a puppy.

Puppies bark a LOT.  But 'Rocky' should have been named Benjamin Barker because he will bark at ANYTHING.

He barks at:
People walking down the street
Dogs walking down the street
People walking down the stairs
People coming up the walk
People closing the car door
People opening the garage door
People coming into a room
The older dog when she snores
The older dog when she farts

We think he has developed this hair trigger because he is bored, or has ADD or something.